Inked
by KDiMeraFan21
Summary: After a hilarious month of ongoing bets, Derek and Penelope partake in the ultimate challenge. When Penelope loses, she winds up having to get a tattoo.
1. Losing

**A/N: Hope you guys enjoy! This is my latest idea for Derek and Penelope!**

It all started with a bet about Esther.

After much debating over what to eat for dinner, they had decided to go out. Derek didn't have many food options to choose from, especially at his bachelor pad, so Penelope suggested Chinese.

They'd wound up taking her car instead of Derek's. He was usually the one to drive, as he hated how cramped Penelope's car was compared to his SUV. However, tonight she was insistent on getting to drive. "You're tired from the case," she said. "Let me take you in my car."

He had finally given in. He was reluctant at first, but he knew that Penelope wouldn't back down. Once she set her mind to something, she was hard to deter.

"Why couldn't we take my car?" Derek moaned once they were out on the main road. Esther seemed to struggle at the higher speed. "We're not going to make it to the restaurant at this rate, baby. The car is on its last leg."

"Don't say that about Esther!" Penelope yelled, petting the dashboard as if the car could hear. "She may be old, but she's gotten me through a lot. I've had her since I graduated from Caltech."

"Seriously?" he said. When she nodded, he added: "That's why Esther sounds like death. She's old! Can you hear that clunking noise? That's not normal!"

"Quit hating on my girl!" she chided. "Or you'll get no after dinner fun!"

He waited a minute before saying anything else. "I bet it's going to break down tonight," he said. "Twenty dollars if it does."

"Deal," she said, surprising him. 'I'm only betting because I know that Esther is basically immortal. If she was going to break down, it would've happened a long time ago."

"You're on."

They made it to dinner in one piece. Derek enjoyed his egg rolls and Penelope had her fun reading fortune cookies and giggling over them. "Luck is on your side, Hot Stuff," she flirted across the table. "I guess the cookie knows what we'll be doing later."

It was on their way back when the car died completely. They were about two blocks away, waiting at a red light, when the car just stopped.

When it wheezed its last breath, Derek cheered. "Finally!" he said. "I can stop worrying you're going to break down on the interstate or worse. That and I have lunch money for tomorrow. Pay up."

"What?" Penelope cried. She turned the key in the ignition, but the car was unresponsive. "You got lucky!" she insisted as she fished the cash from her wallet. "I'm calling AAA. There's no way Esther's life is over."

After that dramatic night with Esther (and yes, the car had survived once a mechanic took a look), they began having bets constantly. "I bet you could put ten spitballs in Kevin's hair before he'd notice," Penelope giggled. "The man is catatonic or something when it comes to computers. He doesn't notice anything off the screens."

"He doesn't have that much hair," Derek said. "He'd feel it."

"I swear," she said. "When he's on the computer, he's so preoccupied with all his programs that he doesn't know the time of day."

"He's going to notice, Baby Girl," he said. "There's no way he'll keep typing. It's not like Lynch has an afro."

"C'mon," Penelope said handing him a straw. "Loser buys dinner."

At that offer, Derek took position behind a plant near Kevin's desk. Making sure no one could see him, he started to fire at the geek's hair.

Sure enough, he made it to thirteen before Kevin noticed. His entire head was covered in little spit balls before the idiot realized his hair was getting wet. "What the hell?" he had yelled while Penelope and Derek ran off giggling like school kids. "Who did this?"

Next, Derek bet her that Reid had a crush on the new girl in Penelope's computing department.

"Look at the way he looks at her," he said. "Can you say love at first sight?"

She thought he had the hots for JJ still. "No way," Penelope said. "He still likes JJ. Always has, always will.

After much fishing from the genius, Penelope found out that he was head over heels for Jane. They even talked Reid into asking her out. "Just go for it, pretty boy!" Derek had told him.

"2 to 1," Derek reminded her later. "I'm in the lead."

Penelope bet that Derek didn't have the balls to dance on Hotch's desk while he was on a lunch break. "Everyone will see me!" he had cried. "What am I supposed to do if our new boss walks by? She's already on our case for all the flirting. I can't!"

"Chicken," she hissed at him. "If you don't do it, I get to show that receptionist girl all those pictures of you in chaps."

"Go for it."

"I'm not talking the photoshopped ones here, my friend," Penelope said darkly. "I'm talking about the real ones. Remember that drunken movie night at my house a year ago?

Derek danced on Hotch's desk. As soon as the words left her mouth, Derek was up on the desk moving around to an invisible beat. He was lucky most of the floor was gone to lunch.

It wasn't Hotch that caught him. It was Rossi. When the older man walked in, he took one look at Derek and held his hands up: "I don't think I want to know."

It kept going like that until the end of March. They had done everything they could possibly think of. Derek bet that Penelope wasn't brave enough to rollerblade through the BAU. Mostly, he wanted revenge for dancing on Hotch's desk and getting caught by Rossi. He'd been so embarrassed! He could barely look at the man for days afterward. Luckily, Hotch hadn't found out.

Penelope did what Derek said she wouldn't. She brought in her rollerblades the next day with a determined look on her face. As soon as the floor was mostly clear, she took off. She won that round. (Derek got his revenge though when she crashed into Kate's desk and Hotch came to investigate the noise.)

He only said: "I hope you two are having fun with all this. Rossi and I are certainly enjoying watching it. Just don't let the higher ups see you."

On the 31st, Derek tallied up their score. They were sitting in Penelope's office going through paperwork and needed a short break. "We're tied," he said. "We both have ten points."

"Damn!" she said. "How did that happen? I thought I was in the lead."

"Not since you failed to trick Reid into eating an escargot, you're not," he said. "We wound up tying. We'll have to break it tonight with the ultimate bet."

"Ultimate bet?"

"Yeah," Derek said, running a hand across his head as he thought. Then: "I got it. Whoever wins a round of Wii tennis at your place is the winner of all our bets. If we don't stop in time for April, Hotch and Rossi might kill us."

Penelope snickered. "That or Cruella will fire us."

Cruella was the name they'd given Strauss's replacement. Neither of them had bothered to learn her name, but they were definitely on her bad list. So they whispered jokes to one another about her and called her Cruella behind her back. That and the fire breathing dragon.

"Alright, I accept," she said. "We need a higher prize though. We've bought enough lunches, dinners, and gave each other twenty bucks to last a lifetime. Since this is the last one, it needs to be original."

They both thought for a minute.

"If I win," Derek started. "You have to get a tattoo. Not just any tattoo, but a lioness. That way we'll have a couple's tattoo of sorts. I'll have the manly lion tattoo and you'll have the feminine and smaller version."

She raised an eyebrow. "Is that the best you got?" Penelope asked, knowing she was a pro at Wii tennis. "Fine. If I win, you have to get Clooney a new puppy to play with. He's getting lonely in his old age."

"Fine," Derek said. "That's fair enough."

They shook on it.

That evening around six, Derek and Penelope were sitting side by side on her couch, trying their best at a round of Wii tennis. They were doing a best of five. "Say goodbye Hot Stuff!" she yelled as she served the ball for the game point. "Mama is about to win!"

But Derek surprised her. With the flick of his wrist, he quickly hit the ball back and she _missed. _It whizzed right past her and out of bounds before she could move.

Penelope's face drained of color. "No," she cried. "No, no, no! This can't be happening right now! How did you beat me?"

It seemed the tech analyst would be going under the needle and getting inked.

**A/N: Don't forget to review!**


	2. Fear, Carlos, and a Lioness

**A/N: Here you go! Enjoy. **

Penelope glared at Derek, who was snickering at her fallen expression. "This isn't funny!" she wailed. "I always win at Wii tennis!"

"Not this time," Derek said triumphantly. "Now, where are we getting that tattoo? I'm thinking on your wrist or foot."

She thought she was going to die. Her heart was hammering in her chest and she could barely breathe. Was Derek going to make her go through with it? Penelope was _terrified _of needles. She was suddenly sorry for all the bets she'd forced him to do.

"Derek, you don't understand," she said. "It isn't that I dislike needles. I hate them, yes, but they also scare me. Why do you think I get the flu every single year? I can't bring myself to get the shot!"

"That's a little dramatic Pen," he said laughing. He couldn't believe his luck.

"I'm not kidding!" she insisted. "I always say I'll get a flu shot, but I never do. I just put it off until I finally get sick. Even when I'm throwing up and staying in the bathroom all day, I still know that I'm not going to get the shot the next year either."

Derek raised an eyebrow. "Baby Girl, I love you, but you need to get past this fear. You're being irrational. You can't suffer every flu season because you're too scared of a little needle. Getting a tattoo could really help you conquer this. Not to mention we agreed the final bet was the ultimate win-lose contest."

She looked at the ground for a minute before she answered. "Will you hold my hand?" she whispered. "And...not laugh at me if I cry?"

"Of course Goddess," he said. "I would never laugh at you. Besides, I think you're a little braver than that."

"Fine," she said. "Where do you go get your...um, ink?"

"My ink?"

"I don't know the terminology here!" she cried. "I can't _believe _I'm doing this. This is much more your cup of tea, Hot Stuff."

"You'll love it," he said, pulling out his phone. "Let me call Carlos. He's done all my tattoos except for the Carpe Diem one. A guy in Chicago did all of that."

Derek turned to call Carlos, while Penelope ran her fingers over his tattoo. The lion on his shoulder was definitely her favorite.

It felt smooth and just like the rest of his skin. She smiled softly. "Maybe this won't be so bad."

Her moment of resolve was quickly over. This whole tattoo thing involved a needle. A sharp pointy object that was going to stab her skin hundreds of time to create the image of a lioness.

After Derek hung up, he grinned. "Good news. Carlos said we could just come as a walk-in. They aren't having many customers tonight."

"Oh, _god," _Penelope said, almost hyperventilating. "As in the near future?" she asked and he nodded. " I don't know if I'm ready for this! I've barely had time to process the fact that I lost Wii tennis and to yell at you about it!"

"It'll only be about twenty minutes," he said. "A half-hour at the most. Then we can come home, watch Doctor Who, and have our fun. Promise."

She looked at him like she couldn't answer basic English. "I can't compute this!" she said. I'm terrified! I'm scared!" She started to pace back and forth. "Please, tell me this is a dream. Tell me this is a nightmare and I'm about to wake up."

Derek only stared at the frazzled tech, trying his hardest not to laugh. "Everything will be okay," he said. "You're most definitely awake and -"

He cut off his sentence when Penelope pinched him suddenly. "Ouch!" he yelped. "What was that for?"

"I was trying to see if this was a dream!" she cried. "It must not be because you felt that!"

"_What?" _he close to yelled. "Baby Girl, you're supposed to pinch yourself! Not me."

She started to pinch herself, but Derek held her hands in place. "C'mon Pen, you're being crazy. You need to calm down." He waited a minute before continuing, watching as Penelope took some deep breaths. "Now come on. Carlos is expecting us."

They walked out into the street, climbing into Derek's SUV. "I wish I had let you drive that night," she grumbled. "It's what got me into this mess anyway."

He had to smile at that. "Guess we all learned a lesson, huh? You should always let me drive, and I should never ride in Esther again. That walk back to your apartment was exhausting."

"This is not the time for jokes!" she said, rolling down her window. "Is there any way we could stop at Starbucks on the way? A latte might calm me down."

"A latte? Baby, that has caffeine in it. It'll have the opposite effect. Believe me, you couldn't get more hyper than you already are.

"True," Penelope said, sticking her head out the window into the night. "Ooh, there's a liquor store! I could grab some wine and not be fully there when the needle comes out! Plus that delicious water makes me sleepy. I could _sleep _through the whole thing."

He pulled in front of a small building with graffiti in the windows. "Thank goodness we're here," he said. "Baby Girl, remember to stay calm. And no booze. Carlos won't tattoo anyone under the influence."

They headed inside. An older man greeted them at the door and returned to his own tattoo process. He looked to be about fifty and was covered in tattoos. He was working on a girl's tribal tattoo who looked too young to be doing this. "Can you see what you're doing to your skin?" Penelope wanted to yell. "This is crazy!"

Another man with a long beard came out then. "Derek Morgan!" he yelled. "Long time, no see! Is this the girl you've been telling me about?"

"Yes!" he said, linking his arm with Penelope's. "Carlos, this is Penelope Garcia. She's my girlfriend and our tech analyst at the FBI. Penelope, this is my go-to tattoo guy Carlos. He's truly the best."

Penelope managed a small smile and shook the man's hand. "Pleased to meet you," she said. "You've done great on Derek's tattoos."

He motioned them over to a wall. "Here's other creations I've done recently," he said. "Take a look." Then: "Derek mentioned you want a lioness."

She nodded. "We want to match."

Carlos flipped through an open book and found a lioness design. "Do you like this?" he asked. "It has some similarities to Derek's. I actually sketched this out a while ago and based it from his."

"Yes!" Penelope breathed. "It's beautiful!"

"I think we've found the one," Carlos said. "Now, what about placement? Are you allowed to have visible tattoos in the tech department?"

"We can," she replied. "I'd really like it on the back of my shoulder though. Sort of in the same area as Derek's but not nearly as visible."

"Understandable," he said. "Right this way."

He led them into a room with a chair that looked like a dentist's. "Hop up," he said. "I'll make a stencil. Could you remove your cardigan?"

She handed it right over to Derek. Her nerves were starting to ease now that she was in the moment and couldn't go back.

Carlos quickly made the stencil and drew it out. "Some people print them off computers," he explained as he worked. "I like to keep my originality though. Also, I'm not much of a tech person like you."

Once he was finished, he asked: "Would you like to do this sitting up or laying down?"

"You better lay her down," Derek piped up. "She's been pretty nervous."

"Alright," Carlos said and Penelope lay down. "Remember to sit still," he said calmly. "I'm going to follow the design I just made on your shoulder. You might want to hold your hair back too."

Penelope held her blonde curls up with one hand, while the other seemed to be squeezing the life out of Derek's. "He hasn't even started yet, baby," he said.

"I know," she said. "I'm just a little scared."

"No reason to be," Carlos said turning on the buzzing needle. "It'll be over in a flash."

As soon as the needle touched her skin, Penelope had to bite back a scream. Did Derek have an inability to feel pain or something? How could he have gotten so many tattoos?

**A/N: Will update as soon as possible!**


	3. We Match

**A/N: Enjoy!**

The buzzing and pain finally stopped after what seemed to be ten years later.

In reality, only about twenty minutes had passed. Carlos quickly put a wet wipe over the tattooed area, explaining that bleeding was normal. "It's common," he said. "Are you an easy bleeder?"

"I guess," Penelope said. She could hardly remember anything. Her mind was still so focused on the fact she now had a tattoo to sport. Was she an easy bleeder? She didn't think so. Well, there was that one time…

"Baby Girl," Derek interrupted, pulling her out of her thoughts. "It's over. You can stop holding my hand. It kinda hurts."

She let go at once, smiling apologetically, and watched as the pigment returned back to his normal color. Had she really held his hand so tightly? "Sorry," she said. "I didn't realize I was hurting you."

"It's fine," he said with a grin. "I'm proud of you. You're officially become more of a badass."

"Yeah, _right_," Penelope said, swatting at him playfully. "I've always been a badass of some sort." Then, to Carlos: "Can I see?"

He rummaged through a drawer for a mirror and held it up. "There you go."

She squealed when she saw the design. Carlos had perfectly replicated the lioness he had sketched earlier onto her skin. It really did look like the lion on Derek's shoulder.

"I love it," she breathed. "The redness though. When does that go away?"

"A couple of days," Carlos said reassuringly. "It's completely normal. A tattoo is like an injury. It takes time to heal, and you have to help it along. I usually recommend unscented lotion to keep it moisturized. Other than that, let it do its thing. The body heals at its own pace."

Derek nodded in agreement. "Lotion is the best," he said. "Trust your two experts here, rookie. You'll have to get a sleeve to compete with us."

"Never," Penelope said, sitting up. "Carlos, you did a great job, but this is my first and only tattoo. It's not something I want to endure again."

"Suit yourself," Derek replied. "Depends if we make another bet or not, huh?"

She ignored him and smiled. "Do you love and adore my lioness?" she asked. "We match."

"I'll leave you two lovebirds here," Carlos said, stifling a laugh. "I need to ring up your total anyway. How are we paying today?"

Derek handed over a credit card before Penelope could speak or dig out her wallet. When she started to object, he held up a hand. "I don't want to hear it," he said. "You shouldn't have to pay for this. I was the one who talked you into it."

Carlos ducked out to the cash register. She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Be that way. It's fifty dollars extra I'll have for my computer games and phone apps."

"Well, you are a technical goddess," Derek said. "You need every extra dime you can find."

She made a face at him. "I can't believe I did this," she said. "I'm in shock. I always swore I'd never get a tattoo. Like ever. JJ will be so proud of me."

"Our team is officially tatted," he agreed. "You were the last one that needed a tattoo."

"What?" she cried. "I know that JJ has that butterfly tramp stamp, but _Rossi _has a tattoo? And Reid?"

"Are you not as surprised about Kate?" he asked laughing. "She has an infinity sign on her ankle. Total white girl and classic."

"And this isn't?" Penelope asked, motioning to her shoulder.

"No," he said. "It's unique. Besides, how many other women have you met with a lioness on their shoulder?"

"Not many," Penelope admitted. "Now spill. What are the other tattoos our family has?"

"Right, right," he said. "Well, Hotch has a tattoo that matches with Haley. They got it when they were eighteen. It's some sort of key and she has the lock. It's on his side."

"Rossi?"

"Something in Italian. He's never told me what it means and I didn't ask. It's on his shoulder in the same place as yours."

"Reid?"

"He has mathematical equations on his chest," Derek said. "I honestly don't know how he stood it. It's directly on the sternum."

Penelope groaned. "What is wrong with you people? Be happy with your perfect skin and don't tamper with it."

Carlos returned and handed Derek a slip to sign. "If you need a touch up, feel free to come back," he said to Penelope. "Or if you want something a little more colorful."

"I'll let you know," she said. "I love it. Thanks so much."

They headed out then, as Carlos had another customer waiting. Once they were out in the street, Derek immediately turned to Penelope and kissed her, right under the street light.

She was breathless when they pulled apart. "What was that for?"

"For doing this," he said. "I didn't dare you to get a tattoo for some silly bet. I did it because I want you marked as mine. I want everyone to know you're taken by the absolute best."

She giggled. "Seriously?"

"Really," he said. "I love you, and I know you love me. I just worry that...uh, certain techs in your department don't realize what we have is so special."

"Kevin Lynch?" Penelope asked. "He knows we're dating."

"I've seen the way he looks at you," Derek said. "He's still crazy about you. Like, major crazy. I've seen him stalking you on Twitter at least twice."

Penelope tried to punch him, but he dodged it. "Yeah, _right. _Kevin is way over me and into Jane. I figured it out when Reid asked her on a date and Kevin looked super pale."

"He can be Reid's problem then. Now, back to us," Derek said. "I want everyone, including all the men at the BAU, to know you're happily taken. I'm your lion and you're my lioness."

"I'm starting to think you're the crazy one, Hot Stuff," Penelope said giggling. "But I'm happy that we match. I really do love the tattoo."

They kissed again, walking toward Derek's SUV in the process. Then, grinning in a goofy sort of way, she said: "I wasn't kidding when I suggested you getting Clooney a friend to play with. He gets lonely when you're away. I should know, after all. I'm the one who looks after him."

He looked down at her. Penelope had the cutest puppy dog like face and he groaned. "You're killing me, baby," he said. "Clooney drives me nuts enough by himself. Now I have to have two dogs?"

"I'll help," she said. "C'mon."

"Fine," he said. "As long as it's a purebred. I'm not looking for a mutt with crazy genes."

They headed for the pet store then, Derek swearing all the way he was never betting with Penelope Garcia again. "Two dogs," he kept saying. "I'm going to lose my mind."

She knew he'd be grateful later though. Clooney would love his new buddy.

**A/N: Finished at last! Let me know how you liked it!**


End file.
